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Saturday, June 17, 2017

But Even if You Don't...

There's just something about being  in a place of constant vulnerability that will bring you immediately to your knees. I was reading back through some of the posts I made while we lived in Korea. From the moment we stepped off the plane, we were vulnerable. We got into the car with complete strangers and moved to a place where we knew no one. We walked through this life one day at a time, constantly growing and learning how to be comfortable and familiar. We learned how to buy trash bags and tell the taxi where we wanted them to go. We learned how to order pizza and navigate the subway system. We bought groceries and decorated for holidays. Over time, we adjusted and found a new normal. God went before us and walked with us during that transition.

I really need this reminder of God's faithfulness right now. This year is only halfway over, and it has already been the hardest of my life. In February, I was told that the district was closing our program next school year, and that I, along with my fellow teachers, had to find new jobs. I was crushed. I genuinely loved my job, and unfortunately, the job I had was unique to that district. I cried and sought Jesus, searching for His plan for my future. Thankfully, the week of my birthday, God opened the door for me to be hired as a 5th grade ELA teacher at the school I wanted to work at in KISD. I am so thankful and excited about this new opportunity, but at the same time, I am once again in a constant state of vulnerability. You see, I had become comfortable with my previous job. Other than a few small changes here and there, I knew what to expect, knew my co-workers, and was familiar with how things were run. I suppose God decided it was time to take me out of my comfort zone and bring some new challenges and experiences my way.

Shortly after I was told I'd have to find a new job, my brother was admitted to the hospital for an infection. I went to visit him for his birthday, and it seemed as though he would make it out of the hospital. The following week I got a call from my mom that he had been put on life support following a procedure to remove his port, which had become infected. This was so scary, but thankfully after several days, he was stable on his own. Though he was stable, the doctors thought it best to move him to San Antonio, where he could receive more specific care. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, we found out that his cancer had returned with a vengeance, and it was only a matter of time before he entered the presence of Jesus. When I got the call that he probably wouldn't make it through the weekend, I rushed to San Antonio with my little sister, and I am so thankful for the final conversations I was able to have with him. We joked, laughed, sang, and read the Bible. He told me everything was going to be okay, that he loved me, and that it was okay to cry. He told me to spend time with the family and get everyone together for BBQs and basketball. When I told him that he has a great big family that loves him, he said, "I know. I've got my chocolate family and my vanilla family." I watched his eyes light up when I gave him a donut for breakfast and a sip of his favorite Dr. Pepper. I stood by his side and scratched his head, back and chest until he fell asleep. Over and over again, I released him to Jesus because I knew his time was coming. He took his final breath on Sunday, May 7th, and my world was forever changed. Once again, I'm in a state of complete vulnerability. It's now time to adjust and find a new normal.

In typical Sarah fashion, I have found myself in moments where I want to push aside my emotions, hide them under the rug, and focus on some menial task that takes my mind away from this vulnerability. I am scared of the future. I am anxious about this new normal. I am insecure.

But thankfully what I've realized is that God uses these moments of vulnerability to really shape and grow me. It's easy to praise him when nothing wrong is going on in life. It requires trust and faith and strength from Him to praise him when everything is going wrong. Honestly, I haven't wanted to put forth the effort to praise him in these moments, yet I know that is exactly what I need to do. He has been faithful in my life to walk next to me in my trying times, and I fully believe that he will be faithful to walk with me no matter how difficult I think life is. I just need to put in the effort. He's there. I just need to call out to Him.

These words from MercyMe's song Even If have really hit home these last few months.

It's easy to sing
When there's nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I'm held to the flame
Like I am right now
I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

Monday, February 6, 2017

The Most Magical Vacation

It's always during this time of the year that I just want to sit at the computer and write. My life. My feelings. My relationship with Jesus. The words are all there, but I'm drained or distracted from this life I'm living. Something needs my attention and just like that, the blog isn't opened for another year. I have so many unpublished posts just waiting for me to finish them.

So, I decided to start with something that is on my mind a lot lately. Our vacation to Disney. I think the main reason it's prominent in my brain (other than the constant Facebook ads and Pinterest suggestions) is that Teaven and I had time just to ourselves. To explore. To grow. To have an adventure. And in this current season of life, we don't get as much time as we would like, and when we do, it's filled with stress from the outside.

Let's begin with Day 1. We stayed the night with some friends the night before our flight. We had great fellowship and conversation with them and so appreciate them taking us to the airport bright and early. I was anxious as we waited in the airport and boarded the plane, the way I always get when a new adventure is in front of me. I wanted to make sure that we had everything we needed and knew where we were supposed to go and when. It's silly to some, but the butterflies of anticipation just bubble up in me. The flight was short, but squished. We arrived at the Orlando Airport and followed the signs for Disney Magical Express. The moment I started seeing all the Disney signs, I just got so excited! The magic was already alive. We checked in, boarded our bus and were on our way to our resort!



Thanks to Disney Magical Express, we didn't have to worry about getting our luggage, so we went straight to our room when we arrived to check it out. The resort was beautiful. We only stayed briefly as we wanted to head straight to Epcot to start our Disney adventure!



We hopped on the first bus to Epcot and were on our way! Let me just say that the Disney transportation is totally worth it! I loved just being able to hop on a bus and not have to worry about where I was going.



That day at Epcot we rode:

  • The Nemo ride - Loved it!
  • Gran Fiesta Tour Starring the Three Caballeros - cute!
  • Living with the Land - So many hidden Mickeys!
  • Mission: Space - our least favorite ride of all!
  • Soarin' - LOVE!!! One of our favorites
  • Test Track - Fun!
  • Spaceship Earth
We bought our classic Mickey and Minnie souvenir hats, met up with some friends from high school, and ate dinner at the Biergarten restaurant in Germany. We loved walking around the World Showcase! Epcot was definitely one of our favorite parks!

The next day was possibly the most magical (for me, at least)! We woke up bright and early for breakfast at the Crystal Palace. Yummy food, and we got into the park before it got crowded. The castle just took my breath away. That morning was one from my dreams. 


Once the park officially opened, we booked it for the Peter Pan ride as we were told by our wonderful travel agent (haha, but seriously) Bethany Carter! 

At Magic Kingdom, we did:
  • Peter Pan's Flight - cute!
  • Buzz Lightyear's Ranger Spin
  • Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
  • Haunted Mansion- so fun!
  • Country Bear's Jamboree
  • Jungle Cruise
  • Mad Tea Party
  • Mickey's PhilharMagic
  • Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor - super funny!
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - one of my favs!
  • Seven Dwarfs Mine Train - Fun!
  • Space Mountain - another one of my favs!!
  • Under the Sea - I just loved all of these themed rides!
  • The Hall of Presidents
  • Oh! The Electrical Parade! Love!
We ate dinner at Be Our Guest. That was probably our favorite meal! The castle just felt so grandeur!


Day 3 found us at Universal Studios. This was probably my least favorite park, most likely because a lot of it was under construction. The Toy Story Ride was by far my favorite here! I wish I would have ridden it twice!

At Universal Studios, we did:
  • The Great Movie Ride - Fun!
  • Muppet Vision 3D
  • Rock n' Roller Coaster
  • Star Tours
  • Tower of Terror
  • Toy Story Mania
  • Beauty and the Beast - Live on stage
  • March of the First Order
  • Fantasmic
We ate lunch at Mama Melrose's Ristorante Italiano, which allowed us to get good seating at Fantasmic that night. Before Fantasmic, we ate dinner at the 50's Prime Time Cafe. This was such a fun place! 


Day 4- This day we had to switch hotels since Teaven won free lodging at Comic Con. You can't pass up free lodging. We had the resort hold onto our luggage and went for an early breakfast at Chef Mickey's. This was also the day we had our very first Uber ride! Chef Mickey's was good, but we like the Crystal Palace better. 


After Chef Mickey's, we hopped on a bus to Animal Kingdom. My favorite thing here was probably the Bug's Life show. One part made Teaven almost jump out of his seat. haha I also enjoyed Expedition Everest. Wait! The Finding Nemo Musical was amazing!

At Animal Kingdom, we did:
  • Expedition Everest
  • Kiliminjaro Safaris
  • Finding Nemo - The Musical - SO SO SO good!
  • Dinosaur
  • The Jungle Trek
We grabbed a quick snack at Flame Tree Barbecue, which was delicious and had a great view of Everest. 

That afternoon we swapped hotels and headed to Magic Kingdom for the last time. *tear* Originally, we had planned to skip eating in the Cinderella castle, but after seeing it on Day 2, we had to see if they had any reservations left, not expecting any on such short notice. Thankfully, they had a table for two for Friday night (Day 4). I was soooo happy!

We walked around to all of the things we missed the first day, rode some of our favorite rides again (Space Mountain) and rode the train around the park. The Cinderella Castle was magical, and I'm very thankful I had the experience! It's not something I'd do again unless I had a little daughter I could dress up. :)


Day 5 - In the morning, we had to go to a presentation in order to receive our free lodging. Once that was over, we headed back to Epcot. We rode our favorite rides (Soarin'), and I tried my hardest to get a last minute Fast Pass for the Frozen ride. Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful and not willing to wait in line for 2 hours. We leisurely walked around the showcase and ate dinner in Morocco. A great end to a magical visit to Disney!





Day 6- Harry Potter here we come!Teaven was most excited about this day! To be continued.. I'm sleepy.