Vulnerable

Let's be real here people. God is good. I am so thankful that I serve a faithful God who will remain faithful even when I cannot.

I'm sure you can see where this is going. I'm going to real honest here. Do you ever have a sin that you are just so ashamed and embarrassed to admit that you struggle with? I mean a sin that I don't see people talking about or taking very seriously, which at times makes me feel like I'm the only person on this giant Earth who struggles with it. And I just know that can't be true.

Here's the deal, I love food. Now, that may sound strange to you. I'm sure you're thinking, "Yeah. I love food too. Who doesn't?" But seriously, people, this is bad. I lust after food. At times, it consumes my thoughts.

What will I have for breakfast? Lunch? Dinner?

I think I still have 50 cents in my purse. I can go get a Dr. Pepper from the vending machine.

Then laziness and tiredness creeps in and clouds my thoughts even more.

I'm too tired to make dinner. I'll just pick something up on the way home.

Honestly, I'm embarrassed mortified to be writing these words down and confessing my gluttony. It's always been a struggle for me, and somehow I've always managed to hide it. (Well, it was probably kind of noticeable that one year I started gaining weight.) It's an internal battle and Satan knows just how to get me.

But I am so over this sin. I don't want to keep lying to myself any longer. But I also know that I cannot do this on my own. So many times I think I have the willpower to take care of all my problems without any help, and you'd think that by now I would have realized that's just not going to happen. I can't fight this because of anything I have done. I can only fight this because I have a God who has fought temptation himself and has enabled me to fight this.

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

Colossians 3:5

So, here we go. One day. One step at a time. Focusing my attention on a merciful God. Worshipping him with the food I put in my body.

Week 6 BEW Weight Loss Competition

This week's weigh in was disappointing. I did pretty good throughout the week, but I had 2 cheat days over the weekend that did not work in my favor (do they ever?).

Weight Loss Goal by April 14: Lose 20 pounds

Pounds lost this week: ZERO

Progress Towards Goal: 3.2 of 20

Favorite thing that I made this week: Shredded pork sandwiches. Delicious and so easy!

Exercising Goal for last week: Workout 3 times.

Did I do it? No. BUT, I did run for like the first time since November and was proud of myself for doing 2 miles in 28 minutes.

Exercising goal this week: Run 3 times and work on getting my 2 miles to a faster pace. Slowly and surely.

Healthy change goal this week: I'm hoping to not be so lazy when I get home from work and that the sun will be nice, shiny and warm so I can get some yard work done.

At this point in the competition, I don't feel like I'm meeting any of the goals I have set out for myself. I start out on Monday saying it's a new week and promising I'll do better. But by the end of the week, I'm exhausted, feeling lazy, and just want to cheat every. single. day. Ugh. I know I need to change my mindset and not let myself give in all the time, but that's the thing I'm worst at. I give in. I let go. And I just don't care anymore. Until I step on the scale and see how much I've failed myself. I've got a problem, people.

BEW Weight Loss Competition: What a week

I did pretty good this week, which is surprising. Teaven and I have started No Fast Food February. Fast food is an easy solution, but we always feel so yucky after we eat it. The only exception is Subway, where we tend to choose healthier options.

Weight Loss Goal by April 14: Lose 20 pounds

Pounds lost this week: 2.2!

Progress Towards Goal: 3.2 of 20

Favorite thing that I made this week: Tostadas. They were so yummy!

Exercising Goal for last week: Workout 3 times.

Did I do it? Yes! Finally, I'm starting to kick it into gear a bit. I did 30 Day Shred on Monday, walked 2 miles with Teaven and Sader on Thursday, and yesterday Teaven and I went hiking with Sader.

Exercising goal this week: Teaven and I plan on breaking out the Couch to 5K this week. I'm going to ease myself back into running because of my knee problems back in December. So, our goal is to run 3 days and do 30 Day Shred 2 days. 

Healthy change goal this week: less soda. less sweets. This week I'm viewing what I eat and put into my body as worship. Trying to rid this sin of gluttony.