Vulnerable

Let's be real here people. God is good. I am so thankful that I serve a faithful God who will remain faithful even when I cannot.

I'm sure you can see where this is going. I'm going to real honest here. Do you ever have a sin that you are just so ashamed and embarrassed to admit that you struggle with? I mean a sin that I don't see people talking about or taking very seriously, which at times makes me feel like I'm the only person on this giant Earth who struggles with it. And I just know that can't be true.

Here's the deal, I love food. Now, that may sound strange to you. I'm sure you're thinking, "Yeah. I love food too. Who doesn't?" But seriously, people, this is bad. I lust after food. At times, it consumes my thoughts.

What will I have for breakfast? Lunch? Dinner?

I think I still have 50 cents in my purse. I can go get a Dr. Pepper from the vending machine.

Then laziness and tiredness creeps in and clouds my thoughts even more.

I'm too tired to make dinner. I'll just pick something up on the way home.

Honestly, I'm embarrassed mortified to be writing these words down and confessing my gluttony. It's always been a struggle for me, and somehow I've always managed to hide it. (Well, it was probably kind of noticeable that one year I started gaining weight.) It's an internal battle and Satan knows just how to get me.

But I am so over this sin. I don't want to keep lying to myself any longer. But I also know that I cannot do this on my own. So many times I think I have the willpower to take care of all my problems without any help, and you'd think that by now I would have realized that's just not going to happen. I can't fight this because of anything I have done. I can only fight this because I have a God who has fought temptation himself and has enabled me to fight this.

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

Colossians 3:5

So, here we go. One day. One step at a time. Focusing my attention on a merciful God. Worshipping him with the food I put in my body.